We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
