I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
