you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
