Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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