I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
