His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
