we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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