We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
only you would photoshop your dick
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
