I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
