Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I would fuck him just for his dog
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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