Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
