i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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