i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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