Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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