Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i will never coherently bang her
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
