Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
