why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
