Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
