Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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