Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
operation harelip BJ is a go
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
