He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
