$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
