life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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