So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
