Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
