Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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