It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
