So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
