no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My pussy is not your playground.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
