I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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