Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm just crazy horny about you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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