This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
