i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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