I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
