What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
