omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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