I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
