spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
