The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
