When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
