what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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