what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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