32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
