summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
