so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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