I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
