the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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