sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
