worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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