i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
