The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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