then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
